for the moment...
2002-11-04 ~ 4:27 p.m.

i am disgusted...

the steady and intense flame of ignorance that dominates humanity is infuriating me.

i am so motherfucking disgusted...

i am cussing too much...and smoking too much...and i am angry. and i deserve to be angry.

spoke with a mouse, and thankfully, she is feeling better. comrade is sick now, and it must be the mouse's fault...or we could all just blame the canadians, like my buddy aaron is doing.

back to my being pissed off...i am not even angry really. i am laughing actually. still simmering, but really...

i am afraid.

the brick wall between myself and foresight collapsed and i really am afraid. and angry. and sad. and yet, laughing...albeit manically.

though we have not spoken much, even blondie can atest that i am a much more honest person now than i was 6 weeks ago. but even so, i sit on my hypocritical throne and i am pissed.

how dare you lie to her/him, me/them? how dare you lie to yourself? when that is most important.

how dare you betray the essence of the love that marks as creatures of humanity?

and you may think...well, fuck you and your hypocritical self...and i might nod.

but the view is a hell of a lot clearer up here.

this isn't some rant about political injustice or even personal injustice...though it includes both.

this is just me yelling randomly at my little world..."wake the fuck up and be real already!"

*hack, hack*

meanwhile, back in hazard county...

i did nothing of what i set out to do, but i did some things i had not intended. it evens out somehow. i need to go the store...i need things. shit. i hate shopping.

i am thinking of adding a "story" link to this page. i have a lot of stories...like "buzzard huntin in potter city" and the like...what do you think?

*looks out over non-guestbook signing mute motherfucking audience*

*waves*

i know you are out there...my site meter told me so.

it all scares me...i am disgusted.

i am going to sing...

"you're the beautiful one...

of course you knew.

and the wind, it blew smoke circles around your eyes...

i can't teach you, i can't tell you, i can't know you, but i want to...

i can sense you, i can move you, i can't kill you, i can't stop you...

there's no tailor making a four hundred dollar disguise...(not this time)

just an unhappy wind blowin smoke in your eyes...

there's no trust big enough for this room...

and you know, the certainity will be your doom.

you're the beautiful one...you can take that home at night...

turn your body to the sun and soak up what you can this life...

...there's no backspace, there's no comma, there's no hyphen, there's no ribbon...there's no tab skips to the place where it writes out 'all is forgiven'...

there's no accusation that comes as a big surprise...(not this time)

just an unhappy tire throwin dirt in my eyes...

funny how you can kill yourself but what made you sick is still there...

funny how you detach yourself when you want to show you care...

you're the beautiful one...you're the one.

you are so far gone now, distant planets are picking up your good-bye's on tv...

what's so beautiful about you is...you didn't have to explain it to me..."

yeah, i think that sums it up nicely for the moment.

...previously... ~ ...next...