FUCK! it is all i can say
2002-11-14 ~ 5:36 a.m.

my name is now pronounced...kah-la.

and we could so go for a drive someplace in my truck...if i had it and all four wheels!!!

this is carla...(kah-la)

this is carla pissed and fucked beyond belief...

that is comrade, staying up even when she has to work so that carla doesn't go beserk with her x-acto knife which she found yesterday...though i won't.

i need about 250...300 dollars, right now. and i can't pay it back. i needed anything but this right now.

you see...

if you could loan me the money, i would even drive over and get it...if my MOTHERFUCKING truck could be driven...anywhere!

instead of sitting in the parking lot behind the bar with two SLASHED tires...

yes, seems there was a "slasher" prowling about this eve whilst the parking lot guard was dozing in his car...

there were about a dozen cars...maybe even more.

most, if not all, the cars had one slashed tire...mine had TWO...*insert additional paranoia*

yes...so my options at this point are to call a flatbed wrecker and have it towed someplace where i can get new tires at 3 AM.....yeah, riiight.

so...you might ask...but how did you and comrade get home?

well, upon arriving to the truck and howling and cursing at the moon...we called the bar and hot sexy bartender singer chick was all "who is this?" and comrade is all "comrade"...and hot sexy barender/singer chick says..."ohhh, my asspicturetaking friend!" they buzzed us back in.

at this point, we all thought some jackass had just let the air out...one of mindy's tires was hit as well. so we hung out and smoked. i called road side services...and then they came in and told us a guy in the back had an air compressor, so i cancel road side service.

and out we go, to be aired up and get on our way...

yet, when we stepped out of the back bar...all the gay men with jacks told us something else was amiss...

yes, amiss, indeed.

someone went through the parking lot and slashed the tires...slashed...on the motherfucking sidewalls...where it can't be patched.

so...thank you motherfuckingbastardcowardidiotassholesonofabitch who is going to cost me money i don't have...as i can't even make rent at this point...so now what do i do??? fuck!

thank you for bringing my already heightened state of anxiety and panic about the "real world" to all new levels...no, really...a solemn fuck you.

pray i don't find you.

and you know what? fuck you again for fucking up an already fucked up day...and fucking up comrade's "yager-swirled" intoxicated self...

dammitt all to hell...

i really want to scream...but i think comrade might be sleeping and that would be bad...

i am sorry? you were wondering how we managed to get back here? right!

yeah, hot sexy bartender/singer chick brought us.

yeah...you heard right.

paul was explaining our options...and the only concern we had was getting home, because i knew what was about to happen and i needed to be home for it to happen... *insert me sitting in front of the bar actually crying at some point?* actually this was me about to really lose it...padded room time.

so paul gets there and i compose...and then hot sexy bartender/singer chick offers to take us. he offers us cab vouchers...she says not to bother.

so...in the 'hot sexy bartender/singer chick - mobile' we go to the whataburger...where the motherfucker who should have been making cheeseburgers was sleeping...

then we jet down the tollway and we are here. she comes in and plays with the dogs...she tugged rope with mo. comrade is beside herself.

me? i might actually be beside myself too...*looking* i dunno...do you see them too?

see? that was a highlight! how about this? for your next first date with someone...bring along your invisible friends. pull up chairs, order shots for everyone...see what kind of reaction you might get! could be lots of fun...

mouse and i have decided to work as a team and take our act on the road...yeah, it would be great fun.

well shit... *remembering*

that is going to be difficult...

since my motherfucking truck has two slashed tires!!

i don't think threat of a nuclear bomb could force me to leave my house right now. fucking panic...

*throwing back the little blue pills*

this really does not help my wanting to become reintegrated with society...

at all.

and yet...on this night, a more personal relationship was made - outside of the bar.

and comrade, thanks...for helping me with this.

cause frankly, i don't have a clue at this point...

and please keep the crazy drunk girls who are shouting at me across the bar away...

slasher-person...fuck you for taking the one "social" place i was starting to feel safe in and fucking it up too.

everything else is one long rambling expletive...

...................

yeah...call me if you want to go help buy some tires and get them put on...

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