don't open my door
2003-05-13 ~ 2:29 a.m.

well...

yeah, i need a smoke for that.

this is my motherfucking closet! i will emerge if i ever want to. until then...i have a brother to call. a brother who needs to tell me if he is thinking on his own.

this has never been about me and yet is but this is about her, you see. yes, my mother. this is about approval and her knowing that she raised a good kid. this is about small towns the like of which you may know. this is about keeping the love. besides...it is not like anyone doesn't really know if they actually think about it. and i don't think anyone cares. so long as you don't talk about it.

looks like i'll be talking about it with my brother. and i am glad. because i wanted to go to him and talk months ago and didn't.

i hate the fear of losing your family.

i am moving along...

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