i have been busy today...so busy.

today i...

made a mess.

stained my shirt.

had no one to apologize to.

today i...

sat in the rain.

wanting the rest of me.

to die.

today i...

picked up the phone.

a dozen times.

but never got through.

today i...

got lost.

countless times.

and never got found.

today i...

realized things.

and that realization is lodged in my throat.

she called, and that made me smile for a minute. it is the only time i have heard my phone ring since i woke up. no matter how many calls i made.

i wrote out an email to doc just now, dunno if i can hit the send button. i keep thinking that i should just take more sleeping pills and when i wake up again i won't feel quite this way. cause on days like this it isn't going to sleep that gets me...it's waking up.

i have already said too much here...time to move on.

...previously... ~ ...next...