disclaimer....no, my parents
2002-10-18 ~ 1:14 a.m.

when they burned the house down...my dad sat in the front yard and got drunk. i think it would have been nice to have been there. to have been "allowed" to drink old milwaulkee and just watch it burn.

i wonder what he thought about sitting there.

i wonder if he notices that his eyes have been blurred by alcohol, faded by too many things left unsaid.

i wonder if, when my mom was so sick the other night, he took care of her and was kind. i wonder if he was drunk and passed out. from my moms reaction, i wonder if he was even there.

i wonder if he knows that when he talks sometimes...or tells stories...that his eyes still twinkle.

i am not sure why i am so inclined to write about my dad...this was going to be a disclaimer for anyone still reading this thing who shouldn't be.

it is 1:24...thursday night...he should be sleeping. i hope his sleep is untroubled and brings him a smile.

my mother also sounded a little better today. perhaps my news has lessened the strain a little.

i am torn by it...but think i am ultimately thankful for being here. the best thing i can do, right now, is to get back to work and start helping out.

i hope all is well.

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