let it storm
2002-10-19 ~ 11:40 a.m.

no sleep to be had, holding this stuff and worrying about it all. scared to take the meds cause what if she or he calls and i can make it easier for her somehow with the key?

i have no idea what time to even possibly drop it by bryce's...i sent emails and called the only number i had.

in other news, since i am pretty sure this day isn't going to go like it once might have...karen and the mouse will have to come over for dinner or something before the bar.

and i know that some of you are worried about all of this other crap, well don't be. i would be a liar if i said it didn't hurt...but don't imagine me any other way than how i am right now.

i am carrying a softer smile than i might have, lips remembering tenderness.

i am trying really hard to smile, and when it doesn't hurt too much i am doing okay.

i have a life (pieces maybe) that i can't just get up and walk away from. no matter how tempting the offer. thank you though, shane.

those things i need to learn and grow and be this better person, to make this worth something...they are here.

and finally, my roots are a heck of a lot stronger than one might give me credit for, though i am no longer tangled up in them.

so...let it storm if it wants to storm.

i'll be sitting by the window watching the rain stream down the glass...and avoiding lightning. jazz will be in my lap.

...previously... ~ ...next...