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music and yawning...
2002-11-18 ~ 6:53 a.m.
been ripping cd's all night...so i am in a music kind of mood... trying to come up with a plan for money...no plan as of yet. one interesting thing to note... refer to previous entry about my wunderful excitement of the evening!! i saw dionne! i saw dionne! *jumping up and down* and now...yeah... "hold me now...i'm six feet from the edge...and i'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down... now that it's over...reflecting on all of my mistakes, i thought i found the road to somewhere..." so...mouse and i are thinking that something is strange... in the last three weeks we have been propositioned on at least three seperate occasions for three-somes... that is odd...it just is. at least two women (a third i won't mention) and a straight guy who "pushed the broom" and "poked the fire" for us... hold me back, mouse...hold me back. *grinning* yeah, as if... gods...what the hell? regardless...as an unintentional team effort, this is entertaining at the very least. seriously....*hack, hack, sniff, sniff* mmmm....oh yeah baby...that is so sexy. *smile* did i mention that i almost spit my salad out when the trainer said she was tired of dating women who were not ready for a relationship? i did. it happened again when she brought up dating women with eating disorders...all of it so funny. tonight when the girls sang "easy tonight" i called a mouse and put her on speakerphone so she could hear. it was almost like she was there...except she wasn't...haha she said it was sweet...aww shucks, yeah...that is me and comrade. "you were wrong...you were right... shot down, said you never had the chance... took a ride on a suicide romance... could have sworn there was somebody home... to facilitate the great unknown... shotgun fire, ain't nobody home... got 'some nickels falling' and a telephone... and it's not easy tonight..." mindy sang her songs while i jumped up and down beside dionne...it was great. even bella was singing along... "mexican girls, mexican girls...por favor senorita...show me your tits" classy. oh yeah. hella fun. god it was good to see dionne, she looks great...of course. we age well you know. *wink* she sang "long road" with them...i have always loved that song... and now we have... "i can go nowyou told me what i needed to hear i can go now rest assured that the door i closed will leave you far behind me you never meant to hurt me well i guess that much is true you just needed me...a friend to pull you through... where does that leave me did you think about it i built my life around you i guess that is my fault where does that leave me i didn't think about it and now it's too late...too late cause i'm in love with you... i can walk now...walk away from the truth that set me free walk away now you made your choice i just wish it had been me it doesn't make it easy any easier to take i guess life has a funny way of making us see straight... (chorus) well forgive me if my heart breaks forgive me if i felt more than you know..." yeah...tell me, where does that leave me? dionne should never doubt her abilities...she sounded damn good. what was that about the studio? mmhmmm...come back!!! in other news..."i am a damn good kisser" (practicing my self affirmation) i need to repeat this over and over until i gain some self confidence. ...next on the playlist... "come here a little closer cause i want to see you baby, real close up... you got me feeling hella good...so let's just keep on dancing...you hold me like you should, so i'm gonna keep on dancing..." i miss dancing!! dionne agrees...these pusses know not how to dance... dancing should involve mirrors and grinding and leaving scars... "you're really lovely...underneath 'your clothes'... you want to love me...underneath 'your clothes'... you know some real bad tricks, and you need some discipline... you're really lovely underneath 'your clothes'... like the heat from the fire...you were always burning... you've used up all your coupons and all you've left is me..." lots of new cd's to share with the masses... ...was a good sunday night at sue's, indeed. celestine...i am telling you. i am thinking of adding some new holes...shit, i even made dionne wince...hehehe moving along the playlist... "in spite of your position you never meant to cause me any pain at all... except to rip me up inside... i'm not jealous, couldn't care less... who is the bitch, you been hanging out with... you are what she wants...she can have it. what is the confusion i thought you called to say you wanted time alone...you're having phone sex on the phone... not obsessing, pms'ing...i've just had a bad week... took my prozac, put your gun back... now i'm feeling really sweet" "where the hell did i think i was"? and i had this in my mind... tangled in sheets...so much softness...so vocal...good sounds... and sleeping, i like the way you breathe...and i can't believe you don't know how beautiful/good you are...and living right there...that is pretty damn yummmmm... without drama or complication or measure. and it really is all good... "hold me now...i'm six feet from the edge...i'm so far down" no knives tonight...no need to bleed... took the little blue pill...might finally get some sleep. today i need to find things to sell... i need to redo my resume and get my ass in gear... "don't know where i'm going yet...but i sure am getting there"
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