shattering the looking glass...

is it so wrong?
2002-11-26 ~ 9:10 p.m.

ahhh...what a day.

got all the shit taken care of...more or less.

got a few hours of restless sleep...no more.

mouse came by to get charlie...we watched frasier.

instructed her on how to wrap her pipes and gave her tape. everyone else...inside, leave them dripping and open the cabinet doors. outside, wrap em up and tape em...or just run your sprinklers. *grin*

and comrade...no shit about the "goodies"....eh?

so it seems a few people thought i was leaving...and well, if i get kicked out i guess i might have to...

and don't think i wasn't tempted...

losing your phone, the lights, the water and the gas in a course of weeks will do that to anyone...

praying late at night for it to somehow just be easier than this...for something to work...and home seems like a great place all of a sudden.

but i know i am not done here. i am looking for something...many things. and the kicker is that location means nothing when what you are hunting is within you all along.

and so, jo and i are looking at classes for 'healthcare professionals'...

i want to finish something i started for a change, that is all. and nursing school seems like a good thing. it will come in handy, good signing bonuses, and job security...

now don't go thinking i am hunting the great american dream of stability...refer to the entry about "the hockey player mom and the tabloids" two back...

no, this is something for me. i need/crave/want/must finish something.

right?

tomorrow is therapy...early. ugh.

then i have to clean...the whole house. bah.

but thursday is turkey day and we will be dining on a 16 pound turkey, 4 pounds of stuffing, mashed potatoes and broccoli / rice casserole....and other stuff. i will be serving around 4 and we will be drinking beer and watching football and stuff until around 8 or 9 or so...so come by, grab a plate, have a drink...participate in hugging and the giving of thanks...and stuff.

there will be fire in the fireplace and merriment.

i need a headcount of who is coming...might help.

but for now...

i spoke with her...

it was nice to hear her.

and so i am taking that with me and going to bed.

this early even.

already medicated (double dose) and feeling blurry around the edges...

and i want a night where we can hold each other and rest in the comfort it brings.

it has been a long time since i mentioned that it all fell away...

and landed in unexpected and juxtaposed places...scattered.

and yet, not really at all.