stupid new years questions
2002-12-31 ~ 2:24 a.m.

laundry at 2:30 am...

taking a break from the nightmare of thumbnails, jpeg's and mpeg's...

decided to do these questions i got sent...seems fitting for the new year. was told to 'look deep' and be honest. wooo...let's see what happens?

1. Where did you come from?

a place other than here

2. What happens to you when you die?

you are cremated or buried

3. What are your duties, your obligations?

until this year...i would have said paying your taxes...but i am currently planning on finding a way to not do that

4. What is your life's vision?

i think it is that thing they say passes before you right as you die

5. What is your relationship with animals and nature?

i am currently dealing with three hyper dogs and i am smoking... i should come back to this one later *grin*

6. How satisfied or frustrated are you with your own sexuality?

there are just too many ways i could answer this question...but ultimately, i am quite satisfied with my own sexuality.

7. Do you like the way you've spent your time so far?

i think i've wasted a lot of my personal time...as a matter of fact, i hate time

8. Where are you going?

i have no idea but i am getting there

9. What part has work played in your life?

work ...good old maerts. i miss it. it saved me and tormented me and went home with me and clawed at me and beat us all down...over and over again. and i fucking loved most of it. work organizes me in to recognizable patterns.

10. What do you value more?

i don't like this question. more than what? more than anything? value as in treasure or value as in valuable?

11. How valuable would you be without it?

very little that i value would affect the 'valuable status' of my person

12. What personal qualities do you possess that were gifts from previous people no longer living?

i got my sense of humor from my dad's mom...that was one hell of a gift.

13. Which people, events and institutions arouse your greatest resentment or anger?

foolish and stupid people anger me at times. i tend to resent selfish people. i am neither angry nor resentful with any events...though tampa crashing always did get me a little steamed.

14. Who has frustrated, neglected, manipulated, inhibited or repressed you?

wow...look at all those adjectives. i can not put this list here. there is no need.

15. When have you been singled out for special attention?

i have a construction paper ribbon that says "Best Bean Bag Thrower - Kindergarten -1980" that was very cool

16. Which people have enriched your life?

everyone who has, or has ever had, a place in my life has enriched it in some way

17. What accomplishments, relationships, and moments mean the most to you?

it is the last day of this year...and i am still here.

18. What are your regrets?

do you have a life time to listen to the whispers of words that would be spoken long before they were felt or vice versa? i wish that i didn't regret so much. regret feeling inadequate, regret being unable to save them, unable to do enough-be enough, unable to make you love me enough, regrets...tonight, my dad told me that he had no regrets. how is that possible?

19. What have you left undone that you wanted to do?

"shit man, i am working on it" - the book (not the other three, i am not counting those), school, learning, drawings...cleaning

20. What have you done that you wish you hadn't?

...i wish i hadn't lost myself

21. What moods and emotions have dominated your experience of the death of others (grief, anger, fear, relief)?

it is a pinwheel

22. When did you discover the limitations in your mother?

when i was 8

*Father?

when i was 9

*Best friend?

best friends don't come with limitations it seems

*A hero?

i watched cartoons, i knew that early on

23. What evil do you wage war against and how?

...the darkness.

24. How do you clip your wings, prevent yourself from flying, depress yourself?

music and trains of thought

25. What brings you joy?

laughter

26. Who are you when you dream?

depends...more often than not i am either myself, a young boy, sometimes the school teacher with the whip...it just depends

27. What do you fear?

ever having a repeat of this year

28. Who has wounded you?

another list that doesn't belong here

29. Whom have you injured?

this year...at some point, most every one i cared about

30. How do you deal with guilt?

holy hell...i hate these questions. shit. i have spent a lifetime internalizing it, honing it...and now i am learning to not hate myself so much and pace and contain.

31. How do you forgive?

i have new boundaries here that have not been tested. i usually forgive easily because i tend to love unconditionally.

32. Who are your people, your family?

i have many families. i have relatives with whom i am close and love...but my family at this point are my friends.

33. What is the source of your power?

it is quite universal

34. Your self-esteem?

haven't learned to anchor the base of it from inside yet

35. What is sacred to you?

emotion and language, friendship and kinship, rites and rituals, passages, candles, trees...why does the word sacred automatically think of holy?

36. What is worthy of your respect?

at this point...honesty and compassion

37. For what or whom would you sacrifice your time, energy, health, or your life?

i would never call it a sacrifice.

i am going to bed...the laundry is in the dryer...

i paid the gas bill. i fed the dogs.

...previously... ~ ...next...