one drop of water
2003-04-07 ~ 11:43 p.m.

"...does your conscious bother you? now tell the truth..."

fingers tapping out the nothing. all my thoughts are gravitating around home...the sky, the stars, the blue, the green...the fucking trees. i groan inwardly at the thought of all that beauty kicking us in the teeth as we paved the roads through childhood...

it is not like elementary school, when you go back to one for the first time after reaching 5'. how small everything is. no, nothing that noticeable.

but something.

then again, maybe i look too much...too hard.

who, me?

but something. different. about where i am from.

and am going...soon. easter weekend. celebrating with a fire...and beer. seems a religious rite thing to do, and while a hillbilly joke might be funny here...you will lose your teeth (just like my daddy) if you say anything.

still thinking about work. and blah, blah, blah.

today was a good day. today, her eyes smiled all day long. gleamed, even. how stunningly captivating.

today i did not get anything done...tomorrow i have to get off my ass.

eh, the frustration at having to wait until tomorrow to do something i will inevitable procrastinate until the next day and so forth and so on. and to know this and not be able to sleep because you know it, and thus know that if you don;t just do it right now it will never get done...

do you know?

it is a type specific craziness, i am sure. my special flavor of crazy.

hehe...for fuck's sake...

small steps. yes.

how incredible.

that the petals unfurl with only a drop of water.

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