something about fifth grade
2003-05-13 ~ 3:31 a.m.

thought i was gone, eh?

yeah...so did i. then i came back.

see, i am working on things. my homework and things for shane. i am going to do some writing for shane. call it an 'advice column', in addition to some features and such. and we are dead serious about the bendy thing as well.

i feel like i might as well be bleeding internally. between the conflict of interest and the grievous error i just want to run away. fast and far away. take a break from this reality for a minute and just catch my breath.

i think i would cry...if i weren't so ardently stopping myself.

it is contrived and blown to unordinary proportions. i know that it must be.

even as it feels as though i have been gut-shot.

something is fundamentally wrong.

or maybe it was just a rough monday.

but probably not.

i think this is where someone should shake me.

please explain my hereness to me, because i forget to write it down sometimes.

explain to me how i am supposed to breathe without oxygen.

and while you are at it...explain the guilt thing too.

and listen to 'fire and rain'.

and you might as well have a good day.

..."sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground..."

and...just so you know. i start a lot of sentences with 'and' or 'but'. have you noticed? i do this for a reason. i do this to be in direct defiance of a teacher who told me that it wasn't correct when i had just read that in modern thought and writing, it was perfectly acceptable. i would still never do it formally because i am afraid of the institution as a whole, but anyway...that was fifth grade. it isn't like i hold on or anything.

that's it...that's all i've got.

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