sugar with your tea?
2004-04-20 ~ 11:31 p.m.

i loved a man. he was probably my soul mate in that other life.

LIII

i

Blustering God,

Stamping across the sky

With loud swagger,

I fear You not.

No, though from Your highest heaven

You plunge Your spear at my heart,

I fear You not.

No, not if the blow

Is as the lightning blasting a tree,

I fear You not, puffing braggart.

ii

If Thou canst see into my heart

That I fear Thee not,

Thou wilt see why I fear Thee not,

And why it is right.

So threaten not, Thou, with Thy bloody spears,

Else Thy sublime ears shall hear curses.

iii

Withal, there is One whom I fear:

I fear to see grief upon that face.

Perchance, friend, He is not your God;

If so, spit upon Him.

By it you will do no profanity.

But I --

Ah, sooner would I die

Than see tears in those eyes of my soul.

yes, that is Crane. and that is one of many hundreds of reasons to love him.

i rest on my saying that it is just "that time of year"...

though even i, with my morbid fascinations and obsessive search for death...was taken aback by the news report because i had not realized so many (now historical) "incidents" had occured this week.

i have been reading old cs lewis from hester's bookshelf and enjoying it immensely.

we were talking tonight about something and she brought up the "emotional detachment" from work we had discussed the night previous and said it was marxist. and she is right. and i found that intriguing...because i am by nature, well...a fan. anyway, we talked about how that would have sealed our fates, even as recently as the 60's and 70's. and it would have.

even to think further...just a little further back in time...and we would have been burned, howling with our kitty familars in flames, on stakes...for being as badass as granny weatherwax...who said "There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."

and then i talked to my pirate for a while about the association betwixt violets and death and then byron, and then crane...of course, and then i hd to mention tolstoy...

but did you know that crane probably had tea or whiskey with h.g. wells, as they were friends?

i have never before wished to have been tea.

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