umm...monkeys and ...
2004-05-18 ~ 1:57 a.m.

talking to big john...what a nice surprise.

time for bed, soon.

oh...i had forgotten, it had leaked out of my ear while i was sleeping or something sneaky and devious like that...

i forgot...

that my mom asked me if i "could" have faked the tests i took last week. what do i do with that?

truth - i have never faked a pysch test. ever. as a matter of fact, i will ask questions and often write little paragraphs about my interpretation of any particular question just to make sure they know exactly what i mean.

i don't exagerate sp? or exacerbate again with the sp?

it doesn't mean i am a failure. i am not a failure.

i just feel like chanting that to her. to myself. all the time, to everyone...until i believe it or she believes it.

in other news, hester wrote a nice eulogy in the guestbook. and the circle of life and death keeps going...like a fucking giant hamster in a giant wheel while we watch helplessly.

felix...the little kitten, one of the kittens from my parents, the one that sandy picked out for the graduation kittie. he got killed. by arthur. andy's dog. and there was initial trauma to everyone, followed by guilt and grief. and it still lingers. time has to take away the edge, reduce the number of intrusive images per day to a manageable amount. it will.

now, there is a tucker. who was quickly adopted by a sirus, who may have had his whole personality changed by this.

i am sorry you had to see that, clean it up.

i still think it is somehow this midas touch of death thing i swear to be affected by. affect.

in other news,

i am medicated...making typing hard.

wanted to touch on the unhappiness...the discontentment...despondency...

whatever it is. i swear it is in the air, but if it isn't...

let's change it.

me and you.

and them too.

don't have a plan.

think an island somewhere not owned by someone or desired by anyone else is a good choice.

with friendly non-shit-throwing monkeys.

and enough furry animals for our own ark.

sleep good tonight.

)(

...previously... ~ ...next...