a mouse plus twenty plus five
2003-06-20 ~ 1:48 a.m.

my big boy is moving back? yay!

it was mouse's birthday. 25. in her long black dress and strappy shoes at the sue party ellen's. and i hope she had a great day. and of course...as is tradition...it is still her borthday for a while yet. wonder what else might be coming?

i suppose the night just couldn't be complete without some issues and things...

and i don't think i said the right thing at all.

because i do feel like a let down. in every single area of my life.

i swear. i really fucking do. i won't always be this way. i haven't always been this way.

do you know how hard it is to breathe without air?

and so...i will move along. scurry scoot skidaddle...

friday five!

brought to you by our local naighborhood insomniac vampire dude.

this is what he had to ask...

1. Where did you get the idea for your vampire-ish image? Are you an actual vampire?

-- i became rather fascinated with vampires when i was thirteen or so. i just haven't outgrown it. also...i bite with a natural affinity for necks...love blood. some people once told me i was a vampire and i think i might have pissed them off because i did not want to play any vampire games. i am just a tad pale with pointed incisors. stand me next to my dear friend, the mexican jew, in the summertime and we will all believe in vampires.

2. How old were you when you started writing poetry?

--wow, i have no idea when i wrote my first poem. (i do know that it was not a haiku) as a kid i always wanted to be a writer. only because no one would pay me to just read all day. my proudest writing accomplishment was in first grade. it was thanksgiving. we had to write a story about what it would be like if we were a turkey at thanksgiving. my story went something like..."blah, blah, misspelling, blah, blah...oh! i hear the indians coming and now i'm red all over." i still have that. hester showed me a notebook she has had for years after she moved in...looks like almost every poem i wrote in my younger years. that was incredibly cool. shit. what was the question? by the time i was in thrid grade i wrote almost all the time.

3. Do you compose your entries, or just write them as the thoughts occur to you?

--i try composing every now and again only to watch it blow up in my mind. *shock and awe* i usually end up choking and forgetting what i had on my chest to get off. of course, i don't write down thoughts as they occur to me really either. i can't type that fast and i doubt anyone could follow it if i could. BUT! can you imagine having a brain stencographer...err fucking word...but something that keeps a running printout of your data stream of thought? talk about killing a rain forest...but still damn cool. yeah...so the answer to this question...i tend to write on the fly.

4. You titled one of your older entries "The vivid colors in my dreams..." Do you actually dream in color? Can you actually remember seeing color in your dreams, after you wake up?

--yes. and yes. although, at the time of that entry...most of my dreams had a sepia gradient shading thing going on with other colors. i truly thought everyone dreamed in color most of my life. i also see colors on the backs of my eyelids when i close my eyes. my elbows are double-jointed as well.

5. You take a very surrealistic approach to the entries in your diary. Are the entries completely representative, rambling thoughts, or a mixture of both?

--surreal...yummy word. how is it that i can not think of myself as surrealistic when it is such a yummy word? i tend to be both. more often than not...both in the same entry.

well...the questions are over. i hope i passed. i always fretted about not testing well.

the birthday celebration for our mouse shall continue. perhaps some of the other woodland creatures should come out and play in the forest? without naming names like trey who never even speaks to me anymore...

..."i'm sailing for tomorrow..."

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