brief introduction
2002-06-17 ~ 6:06 a.m.

some small part of me yearns for a voice this morning, though when handed one, is unsure of what to do

i am like a child at christmas with a much wished for toy, afraid to play with it fully...

I am nameless in the ranks of many. I am just one of the dark and blurred faces that most people never distinguish from the original. I am just like most everyone else here, yet very different. I will try to explain sometime, maybe now...maybe not. First things first...

This is not about me. That would be quite boring, as I have not seen daylight in years...and darkness, my eternal friend, has not been quite so warm as this in many moons.

This is for the one who awakened me from my sleep. I saw you, saw so much in your eyes, in the few moments I had on the couch of our hotel room in memphis. I wonder if you would know me again should you see me...

they perceive me a child, as i gaze into crevices deemed unfathomable perhaps my manerisms do reflect those of a child...wonderment, bewilderment, confusion, clarity...they are all mine. do not be misled, i am no child...nothing of the sort, despite the mask of innocence i still wear. is that what disarmed you? were you disarmed? the others seemed to think you were and so i was forced to retreat.

and i wanted to gaze at you for a while yet, slyly from the corners of my eyes and one side of my mouth...see you.

you ask my name...and i choke on the words, because i truly do not have a name. even now, the keys are harder to find and push. i might be slipping, might just lose my place, but i am trying.

i am the embodiment of many things. i want to explain myself to you...i want to be known, i really do.

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