just like any other
2002-07-04 ~ 1:54 a.m.

tonight is going to be just like any other. tonight i want to die. the need creeps over me with stealthy fingers, clawing and grasping where nothing should ever reach.

yeah....yeah....never fucking fear. even if i really decided to put some effort in to it, my efforts would surely be thwarted. or is that just more of my 'magical thinking'?

nope, probably won't die tonight....just like the ones before it. i will sit and wait for sleep like a widow waits for the return of a lover. i will sit and think and drive myself a little closer to the edge, a little closer to the bathroom and the cool floor. a little closer to bleeding...because i need a good friend tonight, and pain is one i wear well.

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