a good interruption
2002-07-16 ~ 4:00 a.m.

who would have thought an interruption would last that long, eh?

so...it has been a few days, and i have been in the wonderful world where computers don't hum in my sleep. don't misunderstand, i have not fogotten the geek roots which run deep...bit was nice to have quiet for a while...to have you.

and i want you. i do.

selfish, does not play well with others, runs with scissors, resistive to naptime...yep, they were true when i was 5 and they are still true.

but damn...what is a girl to do?

the light was soft, just the glow of the tv and the faintest glint from the bulb. there are holes in your shirt, and i like this. the delicate profile line of your breast is just visible in said hole, and i drink the sight of it in. lust? well, sure. hunger? most definitely. and i stuttered and stumbled and tried to explain that this is not sex. it is the mere thought of you, the thought of the curves that make you. the bones that shape such strong features. the eyes that look at you and all around...the ones i drown in. and while this is most definitely lustful, it is not sexual...what? but yes. fact is, i meant it when i said i wanted to learn to breathe you in...to make you essential to my being. and that is it. if i were a painter, i would sketch it out and fill it in with magnificent color. but i am just me...stuttering, stumbling me.

i got to run away the last few days...escape the more depressing and glaring issues in my life, so fucking happy to be with you. content to be with you being with me. just vegging, watching movies, eating surprisingly well....wait, that almost sounds like "living". whoa, no way. hmmmm regardless, thank you so much for letting me invade your space. i enjoyed it immensely and as always, relish the time we spend together.

Mmmmm....

and i had a bad morning. and i wanted to wake you, to reach out...but i was scared. cause i just am sometimes. but i did reach out for you...and you came to me. and even though you were dragged by your own dreams, we figured out what time it was and i slipped away in your arms. and that is such a nice place. any place with you is nice.

meds have been taken, and bed is waiting. i hope sleep is handling you well...your mom is right, you are precious cargo.

good night mel...and i love you.

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