fascination and the walking dead
2002-07-17 ~ 5:54 p.m.

haven't smoked enough to be awake yet.

there is a limit to what we, as the walking dead, can do. for instance, i need one glass of chocalate milk or one coke plus 3 smokes to be awake normally. these days, it is more like a pack of smokes and a case of coke and i still can't be sure if i'm awake or not.

this could all be a dream....you could be a dream, but i hope you are real. are you real?

the countdown has begun. i am kind of interested to see how long i can last alone. sort of like an experiment. maybe i should take bets.

anyone, everyone...want to place a bet on how long it takes the crazy chick to decompensate when she is alone with her demons?

how long before the real padded rooms enter the picture? how long?

how many times?

i want to cut so badly....

the sun just shined in on me...no, it didn't burn...but it did cast an interesting pattern of light. i suppose if i were a different me than i am, that i would find meaning in that.

but no meaning.

i like this tori amos song..."a sorta fairytale".

i have been meaning to post this....for Kelley and Jen and everyone else who was around the last time i spiralled down to here.

Fascination

Stare into my eyes

Be charmed you fool

Look at my teeth

So pointed and white

Toungue flickering

In and out, in and out.

So pretty I am

That you stop

Stupid human fool

Stand still too long

I am poison you know

And you would be fascinated.

and the sun went back behind the clouds, where it belongs.

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