it is morning...i am sick.

reduced to crawling and retching, or laying still and feeling like retching.

i had a moment not even 5 minutes ago of laying on the couch...very unsure of what ended the night, where she had gone, where i was, or why on this earth i feel like i do, etc.

so i stumbled in here with a glass of water, woke the mouse up and now i have no idea what to say. or if i had planned to say anything at all.

part of me wants to go crawl back in to bed, cause i was there at some point in the night...but it made me feel worse.

my phone says she called 4 times...but i only vaguely remember answering a ring once. and i wanted to tell her thank you for being so nice, and so patient...for just being.

i really, really want my house to be clean...but at the same time, i think i am going to have to go back to sleeping on the bathroom floor for a while now.

have i mentioned that i hate being sick? that i hate feeling bad? that i can't stand it? i am still going from freezing to burning up in nanoseconds...everything is oozy and not at all content. i will raid the medicine drawer for something later maybe...cause i just wanna be safe and warm and feeling better enough to sleep.

but right now, i have to go...

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