time flies...and the road to decompensation is paved with knives.

but i am getting stronger through this. i have to be, because something in me keeps me from going too far down.

he sat on my couch last night and told me that i was still one of the strongest people he had ever known and that ultimately, i would beat this. he is right, i will. because there is more to life than this. more to life than endless denial, and being raked over the coals. i smiled.

it is odd having a boy in the house. mo is loving it. i am, at times, somewhat uncomfortable...but this is one of the good guys. and i can not believe the shit he is going through because of his ex. will you hold her down while i kick her? repeatedly.

and i will definitely stand up to help him, because even with his own shit...he came back to help me. i am glad to have him back, he has been missed.

in other news, i saw her today...somewhat foggy at times...but there was a grin on my face from ear to ear. cause one of her hugs can send me flying over the moon. did you see me? yeah, that was me. it was by chance that he was able to stay and not do surveillance, but we drove to denton and she drove to the eye doctor (highly recommend that eye doctor by the way)and they shined lights and flashed things at me and blew air at me and put drops in...and i was seeing halos around everything...cool.

and tonight i will go to bed and do my damnedest to sleep...because i have to beat this thing. i have been fighting this too long to let it beat me. i want so much more from life.

he is watching wild things...thankfully i don't have to be entertaining with him so i can sit in here and smoke and write.

i have more to say...but i am tired. i have been writing a lot. tomorrow is the doctor, turtle man, so i will be up and there and then i don't know, but trey wants to go to the liquor store and make us drinks.

no more for now...

...previously... ~ ...next...