trey and willow just left...
pandemonium gave my throbbing jaw and aching head new meaning.
i thought a little tool might help things...I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering. Fundamental differing.
Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.
I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
Point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.
There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers/brothers
sometimes i forget how much i fucking love words.
i want to pick up where i left off with the days thoughts, with the quitting of the thoughts, the chance i took to feel...
i am not sure that i can now. but i will come back to it...or it will come back to me.
so...willow. she is almost 4. the empty bedroom which has been invaded by *cringe* barbies was a big hit. i had things all orderly and seperated and categorized and now...well, let's just say that every bag and box was opened and dumped on the floor. it was very cute. she ate a few bites of some of mel's pizza and played video games. she calls me "girl" or "aunt carla". i find that both cute and funny, and no...no one else would be allowed to do that. she looks just like her father.
it was a nice visit...a little bit of adult chat mixed in with lots of "i found something!" and "come here girl" and "look what i have" and so forth and so on. it helped to take the edge off, to help me remember that there is a world out there where the highlight of the day is getting a mermaid figurine to take in the bath with you, getting new shoes, or playing with a little plastic pony.
i am talking shane, my most favorite real life teddy bear...he is having a rough night. he is tired of being alone, tired of hiding, tired of it all i imagine. i told him he could just update my diary...we could switch places and no one would ever know. *smile* okay...someone might know. now we are talking to poetry. now i could almost reach out and grab that place where i found myself earlier.
i am listening to maynard sing a rather nice, live version of 'diary of a love song'.
i am going to redo this place. right now.
so be it.
...previously... ~ ...next...
