sound card issues
2002-11-09 ~ 12:35 p.m.

woohoo...my guestbook got loving...*doing a dance*

hot sexy bartender/singer chick sang comrade's song...

mouse and i are both wearing black...

i am smoking a bowl...thinking about my jockey's and a football jersey...

also thinking about a turkey sandwich...

listening to some "natural blues"...

my soul is swaying to the music, even if i'm not...

sitting on the patio at sue's, listening to hot sexy bartender/singer chick...getting lost in the hallucinogenic halo of the lamps...

and i know i am starting to skitz...even as it washes over me in persistent waves of terror.

yeah, might want to hide all the sharp objects...and even those that aren't so sharp...

shit, just hide everything. not quite time for the little padded room...not quite.

i was thinking about time and space...and how i want neither, and am getting healthy doses of both...

wish i could open my mouth to say that this much time and space is a bad thing...that nothing in me will work the same after this.

but it doesn't matter.

and you might ask...carla, what is the matter? and i might grit my teeth and say nothing...or i might smile flippantly while i tuck my hair behind my ears and still say nothing...

which one is more approachable? *smirk*

and dammitt...nothing is wrong. i just want to sit and think about stuff for a while.

i am wondering about the whole "mothering" thing...and why it is engrained in my being. why is it that you can have me seething one minute and then wanting to help you the next. 'is it all the weakness in me'? *smiling softly*

i need to do some musical education classes for new fans of one joan armatrading.

so, back at the bar...

coat girl was there...i did not risk the speaking in public near her thing...

mouse is right about this one...now it is all warped in my head. cause now it is an "event"...

so there is an update to the new "thing"... coat girl was apparently, and by all accounts...alone. possibly friends near, certainly someone she knows...as she ended up with a really bad hat. we are batting dead even here for the last few weeks...comrade, no? she seems addicted to the music? swaying and smiling and singing. everything in her says she is just there to listen and enjoy the music.

as your lame narrator, i like the character of coat girl because of the simplicity. i will try to explain later...deal with it.

so, back to me...

i have lost my voice...mostly. it is all a strain. but i keep on going.

fact is, i am probably a little hung over...okay, more than a little hung over...but the big thing is that i haven't been on my meds for the last 48 hours...and that is a train wreck waiting to happen. yes, i am about to fix that...and rest up, cause tomorrow is willow's birthday party...awwwwww

in the meanwhile, i have a motherboard to yank and take a look at...

later

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