i have no idea what i said....
2002-12-20 ~ 4:18 a.m.

so, in the "debbie does dallas" series...

we will have the actual, true story as it unfolded...

an image gallery of all that 'debbie' does...

a lot of hype...

and now, a short film...avi or mpg, you choose.

well, when i finish it.

which won't be tonight.

i have enough time for a glass of orange juice, a smoke and a walk around the perimeter before the blue pill does its job.

and i am overflowing...

running down, spilling out...

but the edges are neat, and tucked in.

as i am about to be.

dammitt...

there is so much i want to say...and i despise struggling for the words.

tonight i want that guitar and the chord book back...

tonight i want to rage against this and that and the other...

being faced with two aspects of yourself that no longer fit and need to be changed...and having someone set fire to your fence is...

is...

is what?

lets melt wax philosophical for hours...

you know...fire is my biggest fear.

well, now you do.

and yeah, i am okay....

i ate a lot of twizzlers though. *grin*

and i listened to a very odd playlist...

and i feel humbled.

like glass crunching under a heel...

and i think it is a priceless and beautiful thing though its shattered message is ground in and tipped with rubbing alcohol.

i am the plastic, blow up...bottom weighted punching things from my childhood...

knock them down, they come back...what am i thinking?

i am going to find a way to stay down and see what happens...

have a nice night

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