bouncing pennies
2003-05-03 ~ 2:55 a.m.

i am alone...

really, comepletely alone...except for the animals.

thinking mostly...sitting and thinking.

making huge life changing decisions and such.

grateful that if i am making these decisions i can do stuff...like clean and listen to loud music...and stuff.

hoping that they are right.

just because.

i went to get smokes tonight...and thought about how hard it was and why it is that hard.

and i had some relatively profound thoughts about assumption and perspective.

i saw the "tear off tab" and smiled...

then i thought about things...things far away...

like the ashtray. way in the other room.

i was thinking of cleaning my monitor and it reminded me of bishara. his speech to everyone on using alcohol to clean monitors. i wonder if khush has gone yet. i wonder about anwar and patrick. haha. ahhh, mr. naamdi.

and sam. hahaha

just ask mel or roger about them...and their call times. and their call control.

and the times. oh, the times.

only natural that i would think of work. applying to jobs and filling out forms and appilcations and reading emails about call centers moving to india makes me think about work. hp.

and me, the fragment of a person trying to run a team.

and they talk to me of potential. doc. potential. and i cough.

cause something is sticking in my throat.

i don't get it yet.

he is right. i am stuck. i am working on it. but i don't have it yet.

i am split in too many pieces.

gonna retape the vaccumn cleaner. how the fuck do you spell that? terri and i argued about that one afternoon driving through the hood...looking for an animal shelter i think. how funny.

she was right...however it is spelled.

and wow...a penny pretty much fell from the sky onto my desk...

made a loud clattery noise and bounced, even. granted, the penny did not appear from thin air. there was one laying on the desk.

interesting.

i have to take rent to denton tomorrow. i have to. can't forget. have to wake up to do it.

got stuff to do...

i hope you are having a good night.

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