god help me
2003-05-18 ~ 4:44 p.m.

deniability. does not exist.

i may never leave my house again.

you might think it can't be that bad. but i fear it is.

i have never in my life been as fucked up as i was last night. i recall nothing after a certain point. where i was sitting in my chair and the band was going for a second break. and then nothing. like someone locked up shop and went home. until i woke up in hurting condition on the living room floor around 6:30 this morning.

i have not been that sick from drinking since i lived in college station.

and even the bad night at bedo's...i remember parts of.

but somewhere between falling down a half dozen times, puking under the table at the restaraunt, puking out the car window as we drove down 35, and then passing out i lost my mind and all of my memory.

i guess some part of me knew this morning that it had been a rough night when i woke up on the floor...and couldn't figure out why i was at home when the band was coming back for another set.

but i would never have thought it was that bad.

i am, as always, grateful for comrade and mouse...and now heater too.

and i am sorry. to my friends...and the waitress and any bystanders who may or may not have been attacked but who most definitely did suffer trauma upon witnessing any of the events mentioned above.

and they are good friends...cause only good friends would actually answer their phones the day after a night like that.

definitely not what i had in mind for the night. but then what is life without a few surprises?

i have a really good memory of earlier in the night...it was nice to be there. to be on the patio with a beer and having karen and elizabeth.

and why is it that the funniest thing i have ever heard was something about everybody being the same size in a chair?

my entire body hates me right now.

i am not alone. emer came by. she passed out at edgefest from the heat and also got a raging sunburn.

next time emer and i are going to stay home.

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