better days
2004-02-27 ~ 7:29 p.m.

living in a world where the whir and hum of machines is the one true constant noise means that when a certain acridic smell fills the air around the case you know exactly what has happened. maybe not the how's and why's...but definitely you know. that your cpu is melting in to your motherboard. heatsink compound is dripping on to your video card.

needless to say, i am ordering new parts. i will be gone for a while until they get here. work tomorrow anyway.

my eyes are heavy.

this is nice. partially, inspired by a conversation about staring into one's pupils in the mirror.

"yesterday i wanted to

speak of it, that sense above

the others to me

important because all

that i know derives

from what it teaches me.

today, what is it that

is finally so hopeless,

different, despairs of its own

statement, wants to

turn away, endlessly

to turn away.

If the moon did not...

no, if you did not

I wouldn't either, but

what would i not

do, what prevention, what

thing so quickly stopped.

that is love yesterday

or tomorrow, not

now. can i eat

what you give me. I

have not earned it. Must

I think of everything

as earned. now love also

becomes a reward so

remote from me i have

only made it with my mind.

here is tedium,

despair, a painful

sense of isolation and

whimsical if pompous

self-regard. But that image

is only of the mind's

vague structure, vague to me

because it is my own.

Love, what do i think

to say. i cannot say it.

what have you become to ask,

what have i made you into,

companion, good company,

crossed legs with skirt, or

soft body under

the bones of the bed.

Nothing says anything

but that which it wishes

would come true, fears

what else might happen in

some other place, some

other time not this one.

A voice in my place, an

echo of that only in yours.

let me stumble into

not the confession but

the obsession i begin with

now. for you

also (also)

some time beyond place, or

place beyond time, no

mind left to

say anything at all,

that face gone, now.

into the company of love

it all returns."

robert creeley

goodnight moon.

...previously... ~ ...next...