finishing things
2004-05-04 ~ 2:14 p.m.

everything hurts...and i am very sensitive indeed.

stay tuned, it is now time for our regularly scheduled breakdown. if this were an unscheduled breakdown we would inform you of that at this time. once again...

blah, blah, blah

i am struck by the fact that my life seems to have gone really wrong. more wrong than even i thought. like i fucked up so fundamentally that i will never recover. desperation is much like quicksand.

i want neither the responsibility nor the consequence. in my life ruled by indecision...don't you imagine there are reasons behind the madness?

can i find the moment? the series of moments that created the catastrophe of me...now? or me...then?

was i a sitting duck? just laid up like a line of dominoes waiting for a finger?

or did it happen later?

it doesn't matter. none of it really matters. i will never...

finish that sentence.

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