turkey day
2004-11-25 ~ 1:37 p.m.

Cleaning again. Orange and bleach smells.

Laundry. So much laundry. Where did it come from?

Back to old habits and obsessions. Enjoying it in moderation. Crime scene photos and maps and questions.

Ani was singing in the background earlier.

Took a nap. Had a dream or two. Woke up to the phone.

You've no idea how I hate the phone, too many years in a call center. But I find myself wanting to talk. There is so much ground to cover it feels. I will come back to this soon.

Time for bed soon, not much else to do. I fixed the shower rod, then the faucet, then I made cookies, gave all dogs treats and got the cat high.

After washing more dishes I am done for now.

Been confusing myself a little lately. Muttering a lot.

Watching fall come in with presence. The leaves changed color and started layering the ground all in a day.

Know that it is 'Turkey Day' today, so Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm not really feeling it this year, and I am okay with that. I eat plenty of fowl normally.

But I am always thankful. Usually for random things like can openers and my compass...but I know some pretty special people. (short bus special, maybe)

This year...

I am thankful for Hester. For living with me, for putting up with me, for always being there and never pushing. For a lifetime of friendship. For remembering parts of me I lose. For being the strongest person I know. For thinking with reason and logic.

I am thankful for my Mom and Dad. Most of the time. For loving me and raising me and for not bailing when I should have been street legal already.

I am thankful for Elizabeth. For her support and caring friendship. For her love and the grace of knowing of her. For her compassion and the ability to make everyone around her glow. For being a nymph in the highest order.

I am thankful for Karen. For being my friend when she hates girls. For being my friend even when she may hate me. For always being there. For keeping me honest and my tongue loose on my real opinions when everyone else is asleep. For all the stories and the vicarious experience.

I am thankful for Terri and Alice. Even though they have not called me in forever. They are a welcome presence in my life. I wish it to be that way for many years to come.

I am thankful for Kathy. For assumptions that don't make me an ass. For seeming to just "get me". For talking to me. For sharing parts of her experience. For coming in to my life for a reason unexpected and through a path unexpected. For making me hope for phenomenal things.

and of course....

Trey, it was good to see you. Can't wait to see you again! Willow too, and your mom!

Mel, I can't wait to see you! Make it hurry!

Jim, thanks for the help and the references. I miss you!

Big John, come see me...or call at midnight again!

Kim, my precious (*drawling*). I am thankful you are home and with your family.

Matt and Jenny, I miss you both. I am ready for dinner.

Jo and the boys, my crazy extended family of 2% and the pretties.

Shane, my cuddle bear. I wish I could see you!!

....

My list just gets too long. Now I feel like I am writing an acceptance speech for my big moment. Yep. You know the one.

I have been figuring out a lot of things. Still getting lost somewhere.

But I am working on it.

No idea what I am waiting for anymore, because I threw away the picture...and lost the dream.

But I am still working on it.

So...

at 3:45 I am going to have a drink and listen to the traditional song a little early and toast to yestertimes. tomorrowtimes.

Knowing that the present is what we have, I am overwhelmed with the feeling of thanks to all the people who keep me here. Engaged and interested in these days and times.

I have been working on a fun project. A tracing of lines, if you will.

Tell me...how is it that I came to know you? What events in your life had to take place in order to make that happen? I know mine.

That is why ...beyond thanks... I feel magic.

Because the very fact that I know you is proof that there is magic and that something has purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving! Don't forget to listen to Alice's Restaurant. It's tradition.

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