dream world
2005-05-04 ~ 10:46 p.m.

thank you. exactly what i wanted so badly.

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i have to say i am a little surprised by myself and more than a little unsure about most things.

but i am also a dumbass for not recognizing my own emotions. or perhaps not allowing myself to own them.
but i don't feel like a dumbass. i just feel human and confused by my own self.

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so i was thinking about something she had said and it compelled me to read my horoscope. i didn't like what that one said so i found another one. and then another. and finally one i liked. ha.

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tomorrow is an interview. i have to get my things ready.

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a watched pot never boils, yes i know. but i don't know when i became this impatient. feels like it has momentum.

i have spent time pondering it. do i feel ... restless, impulsive, reckless, propelled? is it bourne beaneath a desirous hunger or a desperation to fully engage? no idea.

i'm tired...between my impatience and odd dreams and strewn thoughts i have been long to lay in the dark.

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i have to write something this week. ... ?! i'll figure something out.

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i want to go there... i really do.

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i have to clear my head soon, but right now i am not willing to let go of what i am holding. it's a dream world, and i want immersion for every minute i can take.

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sleep well,
)(*

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