sobbing and i can't stop...

trey is coming over to get my help with a fucking presentation...and all i really want is a goddamn hug.

and when it comes right down to it...i suppose i am crying because of my dreams...or is that my actual reality?

the difference between what was and what will never be...what might be and what we secretly wish for. where is the line that divides the two? and why when it comes to some poeple...does it keep blurring?

whatever. this evening, when i awoke to my mother calling...and stumbled over the dog sickness to get to the phone...it would have been remiss of me to not say hello to heath. afterall, he spent the entire fucking day here in my head. if i had known i was going to fall asleep and be 16 and then wake up 16 again, i would have just sat here sobbing all day.

i am going to see if maybe trey can take me away for a while, out of the fucking train wreck that i am...that this house is.

and you, sweetheart, you didn't do this. or cause this. or anything of the sort. fact is, i love you...and that alone is my undoing.

there is no justification.

...previously... ~ ...next...