after a rather fascinating conversation with an old friend, and working with images, and doing other stuff...i am going back to bed.

doubt that i will sleep. my mind is heavy, my heart is in my throat, and it all just makes a mess...but hey, what else is new?

i made just a few little changes...too brain dead to do anymore.

i did check my email though. did you know that i can order viagra online really cheap? or that there are teenage girls willing to bear it all for me? wow...i just adore my email.

i need a massage. i need a stiff drink. i need to escape from all this bullshit. so, since those options are not going to happen...i will settle for a little terry pratchett and keep my fingers crossed that today will be even a little different than yesterday and the days before that. because i really am tired. patient, infinitely so...even if it destroys me. but it hurts really bad to want something so badly and have no idea what might happen.

in other news, i have invaded and stolen source from everyplace on the web. i have forgotten too much of what i once knew. but don't doubt that i am still as geeky as they come...i just need to brush up on a few skills.

now i just need someone to sign my guestbook so i can be happy. so...choose a crayon and have it.

i am off to settle in with a bunch of furry things and some terry pratchett just in case this day doesn't go okay.

and just in case anyone read any of my other diaries, which most have hidden links to this one...they are all locked up, as this one might soon be. i have come to know that people who don't need to know a damn thing about me have found me...and i don't like that much. it isn't just me...i tend to mention other people at times...and that ties me in to things i would rather be left out of. from what i can discern at least. so good night...or good morning...or whatever.

later

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