when i woke up a few minutes ago and asked for a sign...i really didn't think i might get one.

funny how that works.

it is a damn small world.

and unless something happens between now and then...i am leaving this weekend.

yes, i think i might do this.

i have never believed in coincidence. and though i am not sure where i might stay...a perfect stranger has invited me to stay with her...i will see old friends.

it is beyond tempting.

moby is singing..."that's when i reach for my revolver"...

and if it weren't for the fact that hwy 6 is the road i can't drive anymore...

and that there is something here that i want to see become something...i want to give it a chance, a really good one.

but a visit is not out of order.

this is almost freaky. just like that night in my little shotgun apartment in college station...where i met them the first time.

and yet, there is a rock lodged in my gut. she just told me that shea was 18. i know sarah has not forgotten...and neither have i.

i don't want those wheels put in to motion. see, there was a dream we shared where i had not seem them in years and went to visit. shea was 18, and was killed at a fast food restaraunt. i wonder at the man he might be growing in to, he was a great kid. this new person says he is a cutie...well, look at who his mother is. *smile*

i want her to meet them...good people.

i hope she is sleeping. wish i knew how things were going. as much as i hope she enjoys it and gets what she needs...i hope she doesn't enjoy it too much. you can't blame me...and i can't help my selfishness. i can't help falling...i can't help not wanting that net. i already tried.

well...the random and intriguing conversation with the stranger i missed by just a few years is over...her xanax kicked in. *smile* hard to believe what a small world it is sometimes.

and chello...you were a bitch then, sounds like you still are. hahaha...i am glad some things never change.

dear one, my best thoughts are with you tonight...i hope all is well.

...previously... ~ ...next...