wildness and craziness...
2003-01-04 ~ 1:09 a.m.

had just enough to smoke and drink that i don't care...

i almost feel at ease to say those things that would otherwise be kept to myself...

shhh, but no...not quite.

tonight at carla's is a wild and crazy place to be.

been at the bar...had a good time.

comrade and i played pool...it had been a while. we ended up about even...distracted by all the girls.

hahaha...and you saw the head nod. that is fucking funny. i saw her...she was cute...we did the eye contact...so the head nod was obviously the move to make when she was leaving...just a little acknowledgment. acknowledge it mother-fucker! funny..how funny.

i have techno and house music to blare from speakers...lots of liquor to drink...and before the night is over, lots of wild craziness.

ahhh yes...and for the debbie fans...

check out the sneak preview...

www.debbiedoessues.com

our girl really gets around. *shaking head*

let the dogs out...walked around in the back and thought about things for a minute...

had an imaginary conversation in my head that went nowhere.

fuck it...i am not going there. i am going to sit here and get groovy with cher and scotch and grandpa...

i need something tonight that i cannot give myself...

sanity? ha...sure, cause that is what i was thinking.

i started the book two days ago, not that anyone would be interested in that. been doing some late night reading and writing in a very different context. it is odd to write about myself this way.

and yes comrade...you like my line.

"if i didn't know you were crazy, that would be funny"

*grinning*

i need to go get my ass in that bathroom with a flat head screwdriver and get busy with some caulking...

and i am procrastinating.

you see, dear readers...

your faithful and not precisely eloquent narrator has a problem.

this issue has already been misunderstood by various external persons.

well, you are all wrong in this case. it is far more basic to myself as a person and disorders in general. still working on things, everyday is another realization. and i wish i was comfortable sharing it here. these days it is hard to share anywhere.

but i have begun the book. haven't told a soul until now. so...now you know! woohoo

haha...yeah, i am writing a book about my life and how it drove me to insanity. where i jumped out with a suitcase and a fiddle and proceeded to do a jig on the curb of rational thought.

i am not promising to finish it...but i felt like i at least needed to start. it doesnt have a title.

maybe the book thing is why i have been in my head...so antisocial the last few days.

shake me when i get this way. throw me a curve ball. sucker punch me. lay it on me.

please come to me...don't let me choke on my own verbage.

...

may you have illicit encounters and dreams tonight. all my love,

Vampy*

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