it was my disaster
2003-10-28 ~ 12:04 a.m.

believe me when i say i know that it wasn't about me. kept trying to say it over and over like i didn't get it. but i got it. that is the problem. i know that it isn't about me. it never was.

if i was able to say good-bye...

if i got the chance, or the choice...

it would never be so hasty.

so abrupt.

as that. as this.

one final smoke to seal the deal and out the door.

too many words flowing like so much water, scattering the ashes of every bridge ever built.

or no words. just unfinished concrete spires always angling upwards.

imagery.

that is all.

i am leaving this place to you in my will. it is all i have had for the last year...my one constant company.

the pitiful, the miserable, the fearful and even the fleeting happiness...such a disaster but it was my disaster.

clear the debris...we are going to blow up something way bigger this time around.

take care out there.

~vampy

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